Simba’s guidebook Mostly food
Food scene
Ok, I am going to give you the options that everyone will rave about and also venture onto the road less travelled. By this I mean places I think have great food but are not really shining examples that everyone speaks of. But I have tried all. My measurements?
1. A lot of ethnic people visit the place. In fact, I sometimes stick out because I am not that particular ethnicity.
2. Bad English... Yeeeeeep! Its a very good sign, believe it or not.
3. Uninspiring decor.
4. Health violations.... :) Some have more than others. I put this last but in my book this should be the first sign that great tasting food is made here.
Please note, I cannot recommend anything for vegeterians and vegans yet. Except maybe Jacksons Food Market...
Once voted the restaurant with the best Decor in Africa. Go see for youself.
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Rockets Bryanston
Hobart RoadOnce voted the restaurant with the best Decor in Africa. Go see for youself.
Café Del Sol Botanico
Great food, lovely bar. For the chilled.
Saturday chill out time in the old Johannesburg. Not as edgy as Maboneng
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Neighbourgoods Market
73 Juta StSaturday chill out time in the old Johannesburg. Not as edgy as Maboneng
For those looking for middle Eastern... turkish food in particular. I see lots of people who fit the bill and look like Turks so ja. I havent seen any health violations here so I am quite sure this might actually be mediocre by real turkish standards, but hey, we are in Johannesburg, not Istanbul.
Istanbul Kebab & Shawarma
97 Edison CrescentFor those looking for middle Eastern... turkish food in particular. I see lots of people who fit the bill and look like Turks so ja. I havent seen any health violations here so I am quite sure this might actually be mediocre by real turkish standards, but hey, we are in Johannesburg, not Istanbul.
Now... this is a Bizzare foods kinda joint because its streetside food. No fancy trailers etc but here you get two things that are categorised as 'African food.' Huge misnomer but anyway... On a good day you will eat the tenderest and tastiest cows head here (Ntloko, in local parlance). Then there is something called chicken dust, grilled chicken with a variety of spices, yum. Health violations galore, but clean well cooked food. This place is in Alexandra. One of Joburgs oldest Townships, If you are not local, a guide is recommended. Better to be safe than sorry but always remember, just because people are poor, it doesnt make them criminals.
Kew
Now... this is a Bizzare foods kinda joint because its streetside food. No fancy trailers etc but here you get two things that are categorised as 'African food.' Huge misnomer but anyway... On a good day you will eat the tenderest and tastiest cows head here (Ntloko, in local parlance). Then there is something called chicken dust, grilled chicken with a variety of spices, yum. Health violations galore, but clean well cooked food. This place is in Alexandra. One of Joburgs oldest Townships, If you are not local, a guide is recommended. Better to be safe than sorry but always remember, just because people are poor, it doesnt make them criminals.
Here again, a step up from the roadside but still plenty health violations, plenty of locals, dismal decor and almost non existent English. But since it ticks the boxes, yum, yum, yum. Guide recommended here too.
Exitangeni African Food Cuisine
Here again, a step up from the roadside but still plenty health violations, plenty of locals, dismal decor and almost non existent English. But since it ticks the boxes, yum, yum, yum. Guide recommended here too.
Braaied meat and nice chill spot in a large Johannesburg township. Guide recommended.
BUSY CORNER Imbizo Shisanyama
Braaied meat and nice chill spot in a large Johannesburg township. Guide recommended.
Market popular with the yuppy crowd. Sowhen we say market in SA, its a bit different from what you may be used to. :)
Prison Break Market
Market popular with the yuppy crowd. Sowhen we say market in SA, its a bit different from what you may be used to. :)
Ok. This has none of my metrics but I had the best shortrib I ever tasted. Pricey but maybe worth it.
KōL Izakhaya
Ok. This has none of my metrics but I had the best shortrib I ever tasted. Pricey but maybe worth it.
Also fails on my essentials but great food here too. Argentinian beef is apparently some of the best in the world. It was recommended by a friend. I highly recommend it in turn.
Gaucho
Also fails on my essentials but great food here too. Argentinian beef is apparently some of the best in the world. It was recommended by a friend. I highly recommend it in turn.
I like Jacksons. But they are waaaaaay too healthy for me. But if you are vegan, vegeterian, sustainability conscious, lactose intolerant, gluten free, upwardly mobile (no, make it up there already), loaded etc this is probably for you. :D
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Jackson’s Real Food Market Bryanston
300 Bryanston DrI like Jacksons. But they are waaaaaay too healthy for me. But if you are vegan, vegeterian, sustainability conscious, lactose intolerant, gluten free, upwardly mobile (no, make it up there already), loaded etc this is probably for you. :D
For Lebanese food and great patisserie. There is a 2nd hand bookshop next door. A combination that is quite unusual in these parts.
Iris Garden Eatery
For Lebanese food and great patisserie. There is a 2nd hand bookshop next door. A combination that is quite unusual in these parts.
Braai Block Bryanston
If you want braai’d meat with convenience.
44 Stanley
44 Stanley AveQuaint little spot with market like feel. Some Joburg favourites here.
Salvation Cafe
44 Stanley AveHello Tomato Bryanston
The River RoadNeed a quick pizza? Tuesday is specials day.
Saint Restaurant
Maude StreetAhem R1m spending tabs, if that is what you are into... :)
Northern suburbs had been a bit slow on cultural aspects and was a bit too much of bling bling with no real multicultural melting pot for the cities upwardly mobile people. This place fixes that.
Prison Break Market
Northern suburbs had been a bit slow on cultural aspects and was a bit too much of bling bling with no real multicultural melting pot for the cities upwardly mobile people. This place fixes that.
Sightseeing
I can only tell you what I know right :)
Arty kind of vibe, but very chilled. So chilled you should avoid if you are really averse to the slow lane or dont care about the organic label. Try Neighbourgoods market instead.
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Bryanston lífrænn og náttúrulegur markaður
40 Culross RdArty kind of vibe, but very chilled. So chilled you should avoid if you are really averse to the slow lane or dont care about the organic label. Try Neighbourgoods market instead.
Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutus old houses during the fight against Apartheid. Both turned into attractions. A nice lesson in humble beginnings.
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Vilakazi Street
Vilakazi StreetNelson Mandela and Desmond Tutus old houses during the fight against Apartheid. Both turned into attractions. A nice lesson in humble beginnings.
You dont have to believe in Charles Darwins theory of evolution to be absolutely fascinated by all that has existed before and with us. Our version of the Richard Leaky finds an hour away. A day visit is good.
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The Cradle of Humankind Visitor Centre Maropeng
You dont have to believe in Charles Darwins theory of evolution to be absolutely fascinated by all that has existed before and with us. Our version of the Richard Leaky finds an hour away. A day visit is good.
This is in Rosebank for some really serious art. There is a well regarded restaurant here too.
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Keyes Art Mile
21 Keyes AveThis is in Rosebank for some really serious art. There is a well regarded restaurant here too.
Most of the art in the house is from this gallery which is 700m away from the house on foot. They would be delighted to have you over, even if it is just to see. And they often host soirees for snobs.
Candice Berman Fine Art Gallery
319 Bryanston DrMost of the art in the house is from this gallery which is 700m away from the house on foot. They would be delighted to have you over, even if it is just to see. And they often host soirees for snobs.
Field Market
11 Louise AveThis doesnt happen every Saturday but quite nice.
Ok. This is a bit controversial but tthat is not the intention. History and indeed life is not one perspective, right? Open your mind to the other side if you wish... you may just learn something. I think there is a lot in here that can help understand not only where we are, but also where we came from. Johannesburg is in the old Transvaal. Fascinating history.
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Voortrekker minnismerkið
Eeufees RoadOk. This is a bit controversial but tthat is not the intention. History and indeed life is not one perspective, right? Open your mind to the other side if you wish... you may just learn something. I think there is a lot in here that can help understand not only where we are, but also where we came from. Johannesburg is in the old Transvaal. Fascinating history.
Irene Farm
28 Chert EndMontecasino
Montecasino BoulevardSightseeing and gambling...
I was reminded of this cool activity by well organised guests. Thank you Quinton. You will have to wake up very early though.
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Bill Harrop's Original Balloon Safaris
R560 SkeerpoortI was reminded of this cool activity by well organised guests. Thank you Quinton. You will have to wake up very early though.
This is a big five national park that you can do in one day. Leave early morning and be back same day.
Pilanesberg, Pilanesberg National Park, South Africa
This is a big five national park that you can do in one day. Leave early morning and be back same day.
Exercise Saturday Morning
When you wanna join the zeitgeist and dont like losing. You can never be last on this 5km run.
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parkrun - Bryanston
63 The River RdWhen you wanna join the zeitgeist and dont like losing. You can never be last on this 5km run.
Neighborhoods
Now... I have to say I feel the vibe here. You probably will too. Lots of independent shops and cafe culture. go play here once in a while but live in Bryanston...so much better. ;)
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Parkhurst
19 17th StraatNow... I have to say I feel the vibe here. You probably will too. Lots of independent shops and cafe culture. go play here once in a while but live in Bryanston...so much better. ;)
Sakhumzi Restaurant
6980 Vilakazi StNeighbourhood drinks and grub spot. Less than a km away. Walk there if you like.
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Tiger's Milk Bryanston
63 St James CresNeighbourhood drinks and grub spot. Less than a km away. Walk there if you like.
Theme Park and Museum
For the families there are great rides for the kids and more cerebral stuff across the road from it at the Apartheid Museum
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Gold Reef City Tema Park
For the families there are great rides for the kids and more cerebral stuff across the road from it at the Apartheid Museum
Water Park and local fave
Now...this place is quite a drive away, but recommended for a day out with the kids in the water. Artificial beach blah blah but the kids love the water rides etc. Leave early morning and come back early evening to make it cost effective. Game drives can be done from the resort to the Big 5 national Park, Pilanesburg.
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Sun City Resort
Now...this place is quite a drive away, but recommended for a day out with the kids in the water. Artificial beach blah blah but the kids love the water rides etc. Leave early morning and come back early evening to make it cost effective. Game drives can be done from the resort to the Big 5 national Park, Pilanesburg.
Shopping
This is an attraction for shoppers and window shoppers alike. Central to the new hub of South African businesses. Very metropolitan and modern.
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Sandton City verslunarmiðstöð
83 Rivonia RdThis is an attraction for shoppers and window shoppers alike. Central to the new hub of South African businesses. Very metropolitan and modern.
Joburg is a true melting pot. I know it wont quite be like a bazaar where Aladdin bought the magic lamp but it will remind you of it somehow. :)
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Oriental Plaza
38-60 Oriental StJoburg is a true melting pot. I know it wont quite be like a bazaar where Aladdin bought the magic lamp but it will remind you of it somehow. :)
This is for your grocery shopping when you are at the house. About 700m away from the house. Americans, dont ask what that is in miles... ok its like 3 feet away.
Woolworths Summit Rd
This is for your grocery shopping when you are at the house. About 700m away from the house. Americans, dont ask what that is in miles... ok its like 3 feet away.
Clicks Pharmacy Riverside Bryanston
For medicine and other things
For those coming with pets, this is the closest to the house to buy Acana and Arjen food. Thats all your pets eat, right?
Absolute Pets Riverside
For those coming with pets, this is the closest to the house to buy Acana and Arjen food. Thats all your pets eat, right?
Hobart Grove Centre
52 Hobart RdAmatuli
6 Desmond RdFor African artefacts and gifts. Collections from all over the continent.